More Columns From This Author

November 19, 2014

Is it Christmas already? Just before Halloween, the Christmas displays began appearing in stores. Maybe that’s good marketing, but it makes me sad. I’m even writing this a month before Christmas, and you have plenty of time to shop for Uncle Florian

November 12, 2014

I was talking with someone last week that really inspired me. She told me, after I apologized for saying I am creative, which is one of my pet peeves when someone brags about such things, she said “why not deny what you think you are, not try and hide it.

November 6, 2014

In the 1950s, a Jewish fellow took the love of his life, Shirley Polykoff, home to meet his family. When he was taking her home, she asked “Did your mother like me?” My sister thought you were just great he answered. “How about your mother?” she persisted.

October 29, 2014

The United States presidential election of 1972 was the first presidential election in which I was able to participate. Then President Richard Nixon was opposed by Senator George McGovern of South Dakota.

October 23, 2014

My grandkids spend a lot of time at my house; that’s because they get waited on hand and foot. Linda is more of a maid when they come by rather than a grandmother. I stay out of the service business when they are at our house.

October 15, 2014

“I’m not going out to play; there’s a million bees in the backyard,” the little guy said. “I want to stay inside and play my new video game; and there might be bad men out there.”

October 9, 2014

I’m such a regular customer at Lowe’s and Home Depot that they have both given me a cart with my name on it. They keep it off to the side so that it’s ready to use when I arrive. Sometimes I don’t use my cart though

October 2, 2014

How many of us remember phone booths? Need I describe them? A three foot by three foot and about eight foot tall. Inside a pay phone.

September 30, 2014

“This column, written by Mark Fausz, It’s the best thing since sliced bread,” a booming voice over said while a happy couple reads the Village News.

September 16, 2014

It can be difficult sometimes to find and write good history pieces, even here in one of the historic places on this continent. The problem being getting it right. It can be tough to do the research and find the words that factually describe the event.

September 11, 2014

Talking about me, in this column, is like scratching an itch – I just can’t help it. For me, it’s cathartic; helps me relate to you with my nonsense or offer what I think are important issues that are needed to be discussed.

September 4, 2014

This time of year (cliché) we’re just waiting for cooler air and the change of the leaves. We’re out gathering nuts and making our nests in the wood for the, sooner than you think, winter.

August 13, 2014

Is anybody hot? That’s a phrase used by my brother-in-law whether it’s hot in the house or not. The guy is always hot. The AC could be on 52 and he’d still be hot. I’ve always wondered if it is the stress of guests, high blood pressure or menopause. He is closing in on 60 after all.

August 6, 2014

There is a kid that lives near me and I feel he will never graduate from high school, or at least walk the aisle with low grades and a lack of experience for the world that awaits him. He’s a great kid and deserves better.

July 23, 2014

A police patrol car whisked by me at about 60 MPH. You’ve seen it before. You wonder why the cops have to go 60 MPH in a 35 MPH zone. Surly they are not out to make the second part of their quota for the day. There is not an emergency that calls for a cop to go that fast.

July 16, 2014

What is stuff? Is it like they, as in “they” say this or “they” say that or “they took our jobs?” Stuff, they say could be anything you can imagine just as they could be anyone you can imagine.

July 9, 2014

New shades went up on our screen porch this weekend, so I don’t have to sit in the sun in the mornings while I write my column. The sun rises in my eyes and doesn’t disappear until about the time I have to go to work.

July 3, 2014

I was getting ready to head off to Home Depot to pick up some string for my weed eater. When I got in my truck and tried to start it, the key just turn around and around.

June 24, 2014

Trending last week were two terms: poverty and 2,000 jobs. Do they kind of bounce off one another? We don’t want poverty, but we sure want jobs. Can’t do without a job, and we surely don’t want to live in poverty.

June 17, 2014

The 1930s, not many families had an automobile. If you wanted groceries and the old man was at work, where he drove the only car you had, if you were lucky, you either walked or took the bus to fill up the pantry.

June 11, 2014

The five high schools in southern Chesterfield graduated along with sixth others in the northwest part of the county over the weekend and extending into Monday. Over 4,500 seniors walked across the stage at Virginia Commonwealth University’s Siegel Center and received their diploma.

June 4, 2014

Have you ever been broke? I don’t mean that you have investment cooking somewhere that you don’t want to get into or you couldn’t afford going out to dinner seven days a week.

May 28, 2014

While I took a little break from covering the news from around Chesterfield, I began collecting news from around the world, literally. Meanwhile, Linda was looking forward to a peaceful month sprucing up our nest.

May 21, 2014

As we look forward to Memorial Day and a three-day weekend, we should take a moment to remember the meaning of the holiday. It’s a day to remember all the men and women who died in all wars in which the United States has participated since and including the Civil War.

May 14, 2014

Still in the south, I came across something really interesting. The small town I visited was a portrait of Virginia in the 1950s. Other than a supermarket built during the last 10 years the town remains quiet and friendly.

May 7, 2014

What is jazz? For the most part it’s music that people don’t like. The beat, its free form structure or its improvisational style, the creative activity of the moment, grates on a lot of people, like nails on a chalkboard.

April 30, 2014

If you want to get cleaned up after work, the first thing you do is take a shower. Now you feel better. You know how I know that? I hear the aah all the way to my house. You will only hear it occasionally coming from my house. I figure a little more deodorant and I’m ready to go.

April 23, 2014

What does your cell phone ring tone say about who you are? I’ve heard old fashion telephone rings, an “ACDC” riff, tinkle bells, “Pink Panther,” Clint Eastwood’s “Good the Bad and the Ugly.”

April 16, 2014

Sister Mary Christopher had a way to incentivize her class to do daily assignments and homework. She was my fourth-grade teacher the same year President Kennedy was assassinated.

April 16, 2014

Linda has never been much of a coupon person. Years ago she would go through the ads and cut a few coupons and stack them on the windowsill above the kitchen sink.

April 16, 2014

Budget public meetings in Chesterfield County, are you kidding me? Citizens fill the chairs and line the walls in the public meeting room on what I call the biggest night of the year. Even if the County was going to build a house of ill repute on every corner and tax the proceeds, it may not draw as many people to the meeting.

March 26, 2014

I’m stuck in traffic again, the guy says. “Don’t worry, I can deal with it for a while, not seeing the kids ‘til supper until the road is widened,” you’re thinking while listening to the Beatle’s “Here Comes the Sun,” on my CD player.

March 19, 2014

My daughter, Marly, had her baby on Thursday after 40 hours of labor. He is a beautiful sight to see. I am handing out virtual cigars. Grab one before they are gone. Funny thing: He doesn’t look like an alien, Winston Churchill or a cone head, although I have to admit his head does stick a bit in the back, but that’s just extra room for his brain.

March 12, 2014

It is always surprising when daylight savings time creeps up on you, especially when snow still lingers in the shadows. And, let’s not forget last year’s March snow. Lord forbid, we have such an event this year.

March 5, 2014

Have you ever been to a haberdashery? Well neither have I. In fact my clothes closet doesn’t even have a suit hanging in it – a few sport coats and three ties is about all.

February 26, 2014

Complaints are arriving at a minimum of one a day here at Village News, most are about the real estate tax rate and how it’s split. Before the add-on for environmental mandates (1.6-cents) there is a 3-cent advertized rate increase that is split two ways:

February 19, 2014

Each year, we, meaning our families and governments, find ourselves in an unsolvable dilemma; taxes, doing taxes and worry about how much we have to pay or how much the infamous they are is going to return to us (good luck with that).

February 12, 2014

The bushes are laid out on the side of the slope, riding it like the wind ruffled sheet hung up to dry on the clothes line in the backyard. Other small trees follow the curves working their way up the hill from a curving base of small boulders.

February 5, 2014

Have you ever tried to balance your checkbook and you are just a couple dollars different than the balance. No matter how you add it up the money doesn’t show up on either side of the balance sheet. It’s only a few bucks, who cares, but as I was always told, if it’s a dollar off, it could be a thousand. You have to clean it up.

January 29, 2014

Golfing is not my thing. A few years ago I tried, but I spent more time looking for my ball in the weeds or the rough than I did on the fairway. Doug, who was my golfing buddy, didn’t hit his ball in the weeds. He hit straight as an arrow and right toward the pin.

January 22, 2014

What’s up with this traffic? It seems to grow exponentially by the day. All the cars on the road seem to be new, at least, newer than mine. Where are they coming from? Building in Chesterfield has been down significantly for five years. It can’t be all the vehicles coming out of the new developments.

January 15, 2014

Where did the last year go? How short was this decade? Attending college and high school seems like yesterday. I feel as if I’m a 20-year-old kid in a 60-year-old body – except, I have cut off my pony-tail and thrown out my patched jeans.

December 18, 2013

Have you ever wondered what character you would be in Charles Dickens’ “The Christmas Carol?” Is it Ebenezer who holds on to his money and watches it grow; Scrooge’s nephew Fred who embodies the merriment and sharing of Christmas or Bob Cratchit who epitomizes the financially challenged; those who work hard, but cannot reach the second rung of the ladder to success.

December 11, 2013

Not that many people remember when I took a step toward politics a couple of years ago. It was one of the most emotional experiences of my life. Two months to gather real friends and real money. Whew, I’m sure glad that’s over, after all, the world didn’t fall apart and Chesterfield didn’t slip into the Chesapeake Bay.

December 4, 2013

Black Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Black Saturday and Cyber Monday are over, although stores are continuing sales right through “Festivus for the Rest of Us,” Christmas, New Year’s and Independence Day.

November 27, 2013

I still remember holding my kids for the first time. Their eyes still closed, trying hard to open them and so light in your arms.

November 20, 2013

Learning to save your money should start early. Even though Chesterfield Schools had to give up a class to teach it; financial management was a good mandate pushed on the county by the state General Assembly.

November 13, 2013

Is high-speed rail really the solution for travel right now? Technology may make it obsolete before the first trip leaves Richmond Station.

November 6, 2013

I have a friend, Colby, who is into everything. He’s involved in some sort of woodworking club – they get together and swap tips about projects and types of wood and so on.

October 30, 2013

Rain and wind and the dark of night, moon shadows of great oaks walk across my lawn. Night-time critters are quiet and leaves whip up into whirling dervishes, the crackling stopped only by rows of bushes.

October 23, 2013

Sometimes even a blind squirrel gets a nut, especially this time of year. Squirrels collect and bury their nuts to have a good stash through the winter. We may see more squirrels this time of year compared to more southern states because some go into hibernation.

October 16, 2013

When you’re twenty-something, life is a hangover from your invincible teen years. The thirty-somethings begin to calm down and look at the future while shuttling their little ones to organized sports, dance lessons and play dates.

October 9, 2013

Mortar on a brick. Nail in a board. Shingle on a roof. Concrete for a floor. Gravel on the earth. A window pane. Driveway. Pipes. Boundaries. Sod. Carpet. Mailbox. Home.

October 2, 2013

Jose, can you sing,
By the dawn’s early night…
Or the lamb of the free
And the home of the parade.

September 25, 2013

Dang me, dang me,
Oughta get a rope and hang me,
High from the highest tree,
Woman won’t you weep for me.

September 18, 2013

Have you ever been to a meeting at which the facilitator asked the group, “Tell us something the rest of us don’t know about you.” For me, the first thing that comes to mind is that I was once a rock star.

September 11, 2013

Often I hear reminisces about how bucolic a drive along some local roads was before they were widened to four or five lanes. How the trees hung over the roads. How it gave you that real hometown feel. And then came “The Invasion of the Beauty Snatchers” – concrete and asphalt.

September 4, 2013

A good friend called to ask me, “Do you ever win anything?”

August 28, 2013

While attending fourth and fifth grade at Catholic School’ Holy Family, I found school lessons to be much different than they are today.

August 21, 2013

Everyman loves machinery, whether he knows anything about it or not. Every doctor, lawyer or Indian chief, at one time or another, has pictured himself operating a powerful machine. I heard a kid on the news the other day when asked what he wanted to do when he grew up, he said, “a trash man.”

August 14, 2013

The chocolate soufflé is the most difficult dessert to make, I’m told. Government is like making a soufflé, brushing the ramekin, (bet you have to Google that one; I did) with butter, freezing them overnight and then melting the chocolate properly.

August 7, 2013

In the world of advertising there is something referred to as “a call to action.” The term means that the advertiser has something special to offer or a compelling reason to visit the businesses’ store, use its service or remember the name of the business or organization, which is called branding.

July 31, 2013

When I get a chance to go to the grocery store; that is when Linda will let me because I bring back a lot more than what is on the list, I away grab one of the little carts. I’m not one for the little carry around kind; I’m just too lazy to lug that thing around like a lady with everything but a hammer and nails to fix anything out of place.

July 17, 2013

I love statistics, don’t you? All the charts and graphs are so colorful. It must be the bright colors that attract me, like the dog, Dug, in the movie “Up.” Dug was distracted by any squirrel he saw. As he was padding along with his master, he would see a squirrel with his peripheral vision.

July 10, 2013

What’s the deal with the mosquitoes this year? Have you seen them in such numbers before? They’re attacking in mass, and there’s nothing you can do about it. We’ll all succumb to some sort of mosquito borne disease before the summer is over. It got so bad in my yard last weekend that my bug zapper shorted out.

July 3, 2013

I forgot to plug in my iPhone last night and sure as a Koala Bear eats eucalyptus leaves it was dead as a doornail this morning. I still had time before heading off to the salt mines so I grabbed it and attempted to plug it in. No go. So turning it 180 degrees from where I started it slipped right in.

June 26, 2013

You know how great it feels to hit a homerun? I don’t because in a real game I’ve never hit one. I was always a Pete Rose sort of guy; grounders that I hoped went through someone’s legs. No, that’s not true either; I really was more of a pop-up guy watching that ball soar toward the blinding sun.

June 19, 2013

“Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order please?”
“I’ll have a double cheeseburger with bacon and a fried egg; a super-sized fry and I’ll need a super-sized Coke. I’d order more but I have to eat and drive.”

June 12, 2013

High school graduation is a major accomplishment for some students. For others it’s one step closer to college – two-year, four-year or professional student. I, for one, don’t remember much from my high school graduation and it’s only through pictures that I recognize any members of my class.

June 5, 2013

Golden retriever blood runs through our veins at the Fausz house. When I met Linda, she had Annie. Later we had Martha and last year one of our sons ended up with two. We adopted one of them and named her Gypsy.

May 29, 2013

Most of the things we do have some sort of payoff. May we feel lighter because we just heard a good joke, “A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. “The bartender looks at them and asks, ‘Is this some kind of joke?’”

May 22, 2013

When you look under the hood, what you thought was a bargain might not always be the case. The problem is a lot of times we are blinded by the shiny finish and at times we just get in a hurry and don’t look closely at how the car runs or even the payments.

May 15, 2013

There was a time when I lived with several of my friends. There was a house in a community several miles from the farm where we and the owner’s brother would spend our time when not working. We actually didn’t work the farm much except for a little planting, tobacco harvesting and on hog butchering day.

May 8, 2013

I’m told I have the music turned up too loud when I am driving by myself. Linda says she can hear me turn in the driveway, not from the sound of my wheels on our gravel driveway, but by the music blasting from the inside of my car. But I was born and raised in an age of loud music.

May 1, 2013

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines BS (bulls!@#) as nonsense; especially: foolish insolent talk and an instance of absurd action.

April 24, 2013

I think everyone has wondered where lottery profits go. Those gains don’t seem to go to our schools. Maybe our School Board should be buying tickets every week in hopes of evening out the game.

April 17, 2013

I’m sure that the account managers at the public relations firm Capital Results are not sitting around a conference table at two in the afternoon sipping bourbon. These modern day “Mad Men” don’t have time to full around like those in the TV program

April 10, 2013

Chicken, pollo, poulet, chook, huhn; every language in the world has a word for chicken. Whether in some countries there is little or no chicken to go around, the population knows what a chicken is and they could show you a way to cook it. Chicken is not the “other white meat” it is the white meat and the dark.

April 3, 2013

“During times of economic bellyache, tobacco sales climb even as other sales tumble. Perhaps the uncertainty of finances makes people nervous: the nervousness causes them to smoke more. Perhaps a cigarette gives an unemployed man something to do with his hands.

March 27, 2013

The Midlo folks are harping again. You know the people that live on the other side of the Chesterfield Mountains dwelling beyond the snowy foothills of Hull in the great Genito woods.

March 20, 2013

“All great change in America begins at the dinner table.” - Ronald Reagan

March 13, 2013

Some of those in a land not far, far away, but right here, like to scramble how school funding is spent. They say, let’s do away with students who don’t care and focus on those who do.

March 6, 2013

As I work to get back in the saddle covering county meetings, especially the upcoming budget currently being discussed and initiated, there seems to be some disagreement with how to handle the loss of revenue from the state and federal government, as well as the mandates from the Virginia Retirement System and the Affordable Healthcare Act.

February 27, 2013

On the rectangular top of our dining-room table Linda and I constructed the pieces and parts of what would become this newspaper. It was 1998, the long hot summer was coming to an end, and Linda wanted to get back to work after a three-month sabbatical from the corporate world.

February 20, 2013

Those little stinkers, they sneak around, multiply, and although we try to eradicate them by stomping them, it’s to no avail. The stink after you squash them remains for more time than you are prepared to handle. These stinkers proliferate during the winter in January and February and awake to begin their real havoc on July 1.

February 13, 2013

You’ve heard older generations say it before, “I walked two miles to school, in the snow, uphill both ways.” My time as a student wasn’t far from that old idiom, but related more to discipline.

February 6, 2013

Austerity. That word has sure been used a lot over the last few years when the question the politicos liked to ask was, “Do you want to end up like Greece?” Have you been to Greece? It’s actually pretty nice there.

January 30, 2013

How great is it meeting and talking with people. You have to open your ears and discover what they are enthusiastic about. I have heard many people communicate how they feel about something by the way they move their body.

January 23, 2013

The movie was long and full of details. The collection of clues that would lead to the final death of Osama bin Laden started long before President Obama made the decision to allow the operation to begin. Zero Dark Thirty reached back 10 years; collecting information that finally led to tracking down bin Laden, taking him out.

January 16, 2013

Albert Camus wrote, “Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

January 2, 2013

Notice the curled and brown edges of my column this week? That’s because it’s a week or so old and newspapers and newspapermen age quickly. Just a short time ago, I had dark brown hair, a bounce in my step and wasn’t staring 60 square in the face.

December 19, 2012

While I usually wait until Christmas Eve to do my Christmas shopping, when the crowds have finally cleared, ah huh; this year I started a little earlier on Saturday, when I thought the crowds would be a little less daunting. Wrong.

December 12, 2012

Bah-dum, bah-dum, buh-dum, buh-dum… It could be the backbeat of the Beatles’ “Revolution 1” or it could be the beating of your heart the first time you fell in love or just your tires bumping over the cracks in the highway. But maybe the beat isn’t so steady.

December 5, 2012

What is this raising county taxes thing I read about? I’ve been a little out of the loop lately but nevertheless, I read in the Richmond Times Dispatch last week that Chesterfield’s Chairman of the Board of Supervisors, Dan Gecker, said we should be raising taxes next year. That’s not what I heard a year ago.

November 28, 2012

Although some people pretend to find work the most satisfying part of their lives. Or if their pursuit of happiness jumps from ballgame to ballgame or one hunting outing to another, It seems that all their endeavors come back to one thing – people.

November 25, 2012

Over dinner, on our way to tour a couple of Frank Lloyd Wright homes in Pennsylvania, Linda and I began wondering about why Roquefort dressing is now called Blue Cheese dressing. Our assumption was that the goat’s milk cheese with the blue veins of mold fungus, originating in Roquefort, France, was something that was not an everyday salad sauce until the name was changed to Blue Cheese.

November 14, 2012

I met a woman for lunch last week.
She was just like many.
Her numbers askew.
Her percentages something I could not meet.

November 7, 2012

Something has to be done. There’s a flaw that has to be dealt with. I don’t understand why this aggravating failure has continued for so long. Why do we put up with it? It seems so easy to fix; to change the policy, the design. Has no one lodged a complaint? Well, I’m mad enough to call them on the problem.

October 24, 2012

“OK,” I said. “I can remember and you don’t have to make a list – milk, tomato sauce, green pepper, some of that green stuff and eggs, right?”
“Yeah, some of that green stuff,” Linda said. “How are you going to find the green stuff if you don’t know what it’s called? And, you forgot two more things that we need.”

October 10, 2012

My daughter Marly returned last week from a trip to Morocco, so over the weekend we spent hours looking at pictures and videos from her trip. Hot air balloon rides, four-wheeler tours, cooking classes and beautiful vistas of sand and sun and sun and sand.