‘Tis the season of the soccer mom

You can see them coming from a mile away, cell phones in one hand, tucked under their ear, recyclable bags filled with wholesome treats for the children they are dragging mercilessly through the crowd gripped in the other.  Soccer moms will be the death of me before the spring season is over. I can see you all now, some of you getting your hackles raised, ready to attack (let me just say that before you do, you might want to take a look at why this is bothering you), the others of you laughing knowing exactly what I’m talking about.

Now, before we get off on totally the wrong foot here, I will say that technically I am a soccer mom; I am a mom and my child plays soccer. But, that is where all similarities end with these other mothers who are going to cause my head to actually explode at the Chester Y one beautiful Saturday morning. Okay, so my rule is to try never to be the “judgey” mom. We all have our ways of mothering and we should all support each other in this wonderful (yet sometimes very trying) experience. Well I am going to break my rule because I am human and I do get “judgey” now and again and this is one of those times.

Soccer moms come in all different shapes and sizes but I find that they all have a very similar personality. I will not name that type however I will say that if you can’t guess by now, it drives me up the wall. I would rather stand in the goal while 10 six-year-olds kick soccer balls at me than to deal with some of these women; like the ones that meander in to practice when they feel like it, whether it be 15 minutes late or 45 minutes late.  Glad to know you are showing your child that being on time is important. The ones that are so busy on their stupid cell phones that they don’t notice when their child does something really wonderful during a game or even practice. What about when the moms are so busy talking to each other in a little cluster that one of the toddler’s wanders off into the parking lot and no one seems to notice except (gasp) a DAD!.  It’s crazy, but what’s really crazy are the parents (not only the moms here) that get so into the game of six-year-olds that they are literally yelling at their children during a game. “YOU CAN DO BETTER, DON’T TELL ME YOU CAN’T DO IT.”  Nothing says a Hallmark moment like watching a six-year-old cry while playing goalie because their mom is standing behind the goal coaching them the entire time.  

I know I sound awful, I just get so irritated sometimes. Playing on a team is a learning experience. They are learning so much more than just the game of soccer. Such as being dependable to your teammates (showing up on time, coming to the games etc.), having fun with kids their age and learning to play as a team (not having their parents scream at them from the sidelines; they do have a coach who does not scream by the way).

It’s just so important, this job of mothering and we only get one chance to do it. When you are on your phone and miss those practices or awesome game moments, you don’t get those back.  When you are yelling at your six-year-old about a soccer game, I understand to a degree, you want them to do well, but they are just kids and need to be having fun, not stressing out about how they are playing.  So, that’s my two cents, whatever it’s worth and I will see you all on the soccer fields; I’m the one that sits away from everybody else.


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