As I sit here writing this, stewing over a number of irritating thorns in my side I can’t help but want to cry. Don’t you ever just want to have a good cry? I have so much on my mind; so many worries and I think back to my childhood and feel more connected to my own mother and even to both of my grandmother’s. We women bear the burdens of many, our own, our spouses, children, friends, co-workers, employers, neighbors, the homeless person on the street. I feel as though my heart will burst with sorrow at times. How can there be so much?
We are the “fixers” of the world. The shoulders to lean on, the hand to help you up and give you a warm meal, the voices of reason, the soft place to land, would the world still be turning were it not for a woman? Yet we get to breaking points too and thank goodness when we have a good friend to help us through it or even (gasp!) a good man. I can tell you that the most wonderful man on Earth has gotten me through many a melancholy of a time.
I truly hate feeling like this, I really do. I absolutely love my life and all of the people in it (for the most part, ha ha). My children are my everything and give me more joy than I can put into words, even when I am saying “Don’t touch your brother, leave each other alone, don’t even look at each other,” for the tenth time in an hour. It makes me smile when they start sticking their tongues out at each other as they are trying to eat their lunch because I know that within minutes they will get tickled and peals of laughter will fill the air in my tiny little kitchen. It is pure heaven in my mind. When the weight of the world is weighing me down I try to think of my “perfect” days.
“Perfect” days for me are waking up to pure sunshine streaming through the bedroom windows. Getting up and throwing those windows open and enjoying my coffee while listening to the birds sing their praises while I enjoy my “intermezzo” channel on Sirius radio. The family will head outside and play most of the day and have friends over and we will end the day with cooking out and playing outside until it gets dark. Then to come into a house that has been opened up all day with fresh candles ablaze and clean sheets on all the beds is just about perfect, the icing on the cake is throwing in two worn out children. Bath and bed equals a good night for mom and dad. That is a perfect day for me, being with my family on a beautiful day and enjoying the gifts God has given us.
That helps me get through this burdensome gift that I have received called “worry”. I try to concentrate on the purest things in my life and it always comes back to the same things; my family and my faith. With those two things in my corner I know that whatever life throws my way I will muddle my way through it because no matter what happens I know nothing is more important than my family.