Hello and welcome to the deadly world of the Dogpound. As one famous person said, “We are all going to die!”, and apply so based on a recent study that says red meat consumption can reduce your life span. Per An Pan, a post –doctoral fellow at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston “Any red meat you eat contributes to the risk.” So with that setting we bring you the following interview with our prominent Senate representative Mr. BigGov. “Senator what do you make of this news?” “We and my fellow Congressional members are taking this very seriously and we view this worse than cigarette smoking.” “How so?” “Not only is red meat bad for you, but all of those cows are known to be one of the biggest producers of methane which impacts global warming. We are going to push for drastic and immediate action. ” “Are you planning on banning red meat then?” “Oh heavens no son, you can’t generate revenues that way.” “Revenues?” “Oh yes, just like cigarettes we are going to tax the heck out of consumer consumption. I even heard that some states, mostly Eastern states, are joining forces to file a class-action suit on all farmers who raise cattle for consumption. They see a “golden calf” so to speak, and want part of the action.” “Well, then Senator, is there anything else in the works?” “Matter of fact we have a number of initiatives we are looking at. One, we will require the red meat in grocery stores to only be available behind the meat counter. Two, we will require very graphic warning labels on all packaging. Three, all beef raisers must register with the government to insure no milk cows are snuck under the table for “forbidden use”..if you get my drift. Then to make sure our younger generations are properly educated in the dangers of beef, we are proposing the following. We will ban all advertising that could be directed toward anyone under the age of 18; require all toys that are farm theme-related be cow free; ban all songs that might mention cows…like “Farmer in the Dell” and pull toys that make animal sounds; then for good measure, as a gesture to the President’s suggestion, we will mandate that all schools add a course in the dangers of eating red meat.” “Wow Senator. That is quite a shopping list.” “As you know we are very concerned about the welfare of our constituents and besides it is good for the economy.” “Good? I do not understand.” “I guess that is why I am a Senator and you are not.” The Senator said with a big grin. “Just imagine the number of government agencies we need to create to monitor and control red meat consumption in this country not counting the hiring of thousands of government employees necessary to manage this big program. Plus, this is just the tip of the iceberg; we have not even addressed other red meat like deer, bison, squirrels, and rabbits.” Looking at his watch, “I have to go now; we have a conference meeting down at the ‘All You Can Eat Steak House’. Now I know what you are thinking….but we are just doing more research into this topic over dinner. You would not want us to pass legislation that we do not understand or will not produce successful results? Now would you?” “ Of course not Senator…just like the Stimulus Bills and ObamaCare you voted yes on.” “I…ah…I am late…have to run.”
As always be good, play safe, and remember to much supervision can be a bad thing.
JR and Max