Barf, mommy

We try to dodge the bullet.  We bleach, Lysol, hand sanitize not only their hands, our hands, other peoples’ children’s hands, but it is inevitable.  The crud will make its way into your house one way or another; you may miss it one year but it seems to know that you’re up for a turn.  Like a spooky Halloween mist it spiraled and twisted its way into my house and invaded the sweet innocent bodies of my children putting their tiny immune systems to work. Yes, we were attacked by the crud and it was a first for me as a mother of two.

We Lashley’s are pretty hardy folks.  We don’t get sick that often; oh we may have the occasional sniffle but this year we were attacked by the crud otherwise known as vomit.  The thing about this little bug, thank goodness, was that it wasn’t a violent illness. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate; we have all had a “violent” sickness. This one was pretty mild but to children, anytime you vomit it’s pretty traumatic.  
It started with the boy.  We were roused at around 3 a.m. to him crying, and of course what do we find but a bed full of the crud and a boy covered in it. Bless his little heart.

After a middle of the night bath he was tucked safely in with Mommy while Daddy hoofed it out to the couch.  Every half hour I was awakened to “Mommy my tummy hurts” and I would sleepily stumble behind my little man to the toilet where more crud would invite itself into my home.  I was so happy he was old enough to get the whole “you need to expel into the toilet” thing.  After much “expelling” the poor little guy finally slept around 5 a.m.  Too bad Mommy had to get up and go be the “Mystery Reader” in his class that day. While Ben stayed cooped up on the couch sipping ice water and watching Transformers, I was in the front of his kindergarten class reading a very lovely Halloween story (if I do say so myself), and while all of those little angels were looking up at me, all I kept thinking was, “How many of you have the crud swimming through you right now?” and “If I manage to not catch it from Ben will I be double exposed from being around you little munchkins?” Not good Mommy thinking but that was honestly the inner dialogue going on in my head at the moment.  Hand Sanitizer, Hand Sanitizer, Hand Sanitizer, the mantra going round and round in my head over the next few days.

We made it through the weekend with no complaints of any tummy aches and I thought, “Hey, we are in the clear, Ha Ha we beat you crud!” My Mommy skills must be all  powerful for only 1 out of 4 to get it. I am amazing. Not so fast amazing Mommy; scene, Monday night just after bedtime when the piercing cries of our little flower startled me from my Real Housewives reverie.  “Vomit” was my immediate thought followed by a four-letter word that I am not permitted to print.  

As Daddy and I race up the stairs I am preparing for the worst but hoping that I am so totally wrong.  Daddy gets there first. As I round the bend I simultaneously hear retching and see Daddy turning his head and making a gagging face while holding our dear precious daughter at arm’s length.  I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.  How could you not?  Poor Lily is standing in at least an inch of crud in her crib as it continues to leave her little body and make its way into our home, again, while my dear husband is trying not to retch himself at the smell as he holds her at arm’s length so he doesn’t get vomit all over himself.  She’s crying, I’m laughing, Brian is gagging and all the while Ben is right next door sleeping peacefully.

I grab the baby, facing her away from me, and make our way downstairs to our only bathroom (have I failed to mention this, yes only one bathroom) as she vomits the entire way down the stairs.  “I can’t believe this,” I think to myself because this one was not going to get the whole “expel into the toilet” thing.  Before the night was over let’s just say that she had 3 baths; I had 2 and there were a lot of towels to be washed the next day.

It was not a fun night but thankfully once she was finished she slept peacefully in her playpen in Mommy and Daddy’s room the rest of the night.   

So far it’s been five days since our last crud incident and Brian and I have been feeling just fine.  I have had the windows open to “air the crud out” bleached the house from top to bottom and hand sanitized, hand washed, hand sanitized and hand washed again.  The crud can get out and stay out; it is not welcome in the Lashley house.  So beware folks, make sure that it doesn’t “accidentally” get invited into your home.


stomach flu


I have mentioned before that I have four children. I dreaded the stomach flu more than ANYTHING. I was almost paranoid about it. The absolute worst was if it hit the family when traveling. For many years when the children were little, I would drive to New York the Saturday before Thanksgiving with the children to spend the week with my family. My husband would take the train up on the night before Thanksgiving. Then we would all drive back together the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I would literally put them in quarantine a week before I left because I was afraid of the whole crew getting the stomach flu while we were traveling. It did happen one time and it was as bad as I thought it was going to be. I loved raising my children, but I will say that is one thing I don't miss. I really love your column because it brings back memories. By the way, my first grandchild was born yesterday, a granddaughter and I am in 7th heaven.:)


Post new comment

More information about formatting options

This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

Related Content

01/14/2015 - 06:45
12/10/2014 - 06:36