Are you smarter than a fifth-grader?

In order to be promoted to or pass the fifth grade there are certain criteria that must be mastered.

Such factors as reading and math commensurate with ability and social maturation as predictors of whether a student will be promoted.

Amazingly, most adults have not mastered social maturation.

If woman continuously seek companionship because they are afraid to be alone then why should they expect a man to desire to be with them if they do not desire being with themselves? On the other hand, why do men seek out women that are out of their league by paying for their relationship? In both scenarios they wonder why they are not fulfilled and yet continue to repeat the same behavior.

A fifth-grader knows not to repeat behaviors that the outcome is not favorable, and they realize early on that certain behaviors are a prescription for favorable outcomes. They are mastering social maturation. Have we as adults forgotten what we learned in the fifth grade?  Why are we devastated when the outcome is the same when we have not changed our behavior?

On the outside looking in everyone thought that my marriage was wonderful. I had a beautiful home, a sports car (I miss my Triumph Spit Fire that my husband purchased for me just because), wonderful clothes, and beautiful jewelry. I was miserable. I would never blame my ex-husband because I associated things with happiness (I was a product of my environment). I was not a gold digger but I was not looking for a broke…

Divorce was a costly lesson but a wonderful life lesson. I will never entertain another man based on his net worth. I will only seriously consider men that I enjoy their company; men that I am attracted to mentally and physically. I need to go to bed with a clear conscious.  Lesson learned.

Family and friends love to continuously take advantage of the family member or friend that will do and give at any cost. I have learned that just because I am a giver does not mean that others feel the same way. As a matter of fact I found out that I could give unselfishly of my time and talent and not be worth15 minutes of a friend or family member’s time. Ouch! Lesson learned.

I love learning, teaching and sharing; this is the way God made me. I am secure in my interpretation of Philippians 2:3- Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above your self - though I believe this with all my heart in soul, I do not believe I should be taken advantage of.

The statement “Are you smarter than a fifth-grader” should be am I ready to move forward and change my behavior.

I have concluded I am ready.   

Are you smarter than a fifth-grader? Have you not mastered social maturation? Share your story at


Great Commentary! I know many

Great Commentary! I know many people who need to capture this message. Maturity is a state of mind that translates into peace and better living. We must learn from our mistakes through our actions. Michelle, you certainly embody this message! Thank you for writing this!

Thought provoking article,

Thought provoking article, Michelle.


Nice piece. It really makes you think and in some cases feel sorry for the unforfilled lives of hose who need others to make them whole. If one is busy with life, goals and dreams by the time they realize that a relationship is not in play they have figured out that it was not a need in the first place.

This touches on lot of

This touches on lot of points but the one that stands out to me is the one about being a Giver. I can really relate to your point and been working harder in 2013 to focus a little more on me! Unfortunately, many men are raised and taught that the most value you can bring to a relationship is your willingness to give completelynofbyourself to the care and feeding (if you will) of your family, your friends and lastly to yourself. Usually, all you have give is gone by time your turn come to be about caring for yourself.

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