Max knows his ABCs

Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound.  I am sure many of you have read the news about the young boy who was suspended because he ate his pop tart into the shape of a gun...or it could have been an “L”… So here is our possible future.  A first grade teacher and parent conference… “Mrs. Smith…thank  you for coming in.  We need to discuss your little Johnny’s ABC’s.”  “Well, Mrs. Jones, we are certainly proud of our son. He has known his ABC’s forwards and backwards since he was four yours old.”  “Well, that is the problem we need to talk about… We feel first grade children are not mature enough to properly handle the impact of ABC’s on today’s social awareness. Because of that concern ABC’s have been moved from the first grade curriculum to the second grade where we believe they will be better equipped to sort through those complicated issues.”  “Ah, Mrs. Jones…I am not following this.  What issues?”  In response to her inquiry the teacher opens a folder and pulls out a large cardboard “L”.  “Now Mrs. Smith... What do you see here?”   “I see the letter “L”?”  The teacher rotates the “L” 90 degrees… ”Now what do you see?” “Ah... I still see an “L”…just on its side.”  “Wrong…wrong!” Shouts the teacher.  “This is obviously the outline of a gun and we have to protect our little ones from these types of aggressive images.”  Mrs. Smith leans in to take a closer look, “Really? Are you serious?  This is just a letter.”  The teacher slams the cutout on the desk, “Yes we are deadly serious!”  The teacher puts her hand to her mouth, “Oh sorry…deadly is a banned word.  Anyway, there is more.”  “There is more?”  The mother scratches her head in confusion.  “Of course!”  The teacher digs back into her demo folder.  “See here is the letter “i”...which resembles a gun sight…then here is the letter “Q”.  The mother squinting…”I don’t see how a Q represents anything  aggressive.”  “The principal believes this resembles a grenade with a pull pin...and do you know that just last month we had two incidents of invisible grenade explosions?”  “I did not know that…nor do I care too …really.”  The teacher gave the mother a disapproving look and continued her lecture… “Now here is the letter “P”.”  “Oh don’t tell me.”  The mother interrupted, “Tilt it on its side and you have a pistol.  Am I right?”  “Yes!” the teacher responds beaming, “You are finally getting the idea.  “Yes I am .” the mother replied as she gathered her things.  “I get the point that I need to look at in-home schooling for little Johnny.  Good day.”  As the mother left the room the phone rings.  “Yes Principal Turner, the parent conference just finished and yes, I think it went well.  However, I must admit that it is strange that she mentioned in-home schooling.  I know…it is the third one this week.”

That is a wrap.  As always be good, play safe and remember to be careful how you eat your pastry..there are eyes everywhere.

JR and Max


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