I always knew that I wanted children. From the time I was 3 years old playing house with my baby dolls, I knew deep down in some part of myself that I wanted to be a mother. As I grew older, the thought was pushed into the back of my brain and more important things took its place, like boys, basketball and reading as many books as I could get my hands on.
Of course, I babysat on a regular basis and had my “regular” families that I was always on hand for. I have to say that I was an exceptional babysitter; the goal was always to wear them completely out and to have as much fun as possible while doing so. I loved being around children, but the thought of my own was still pushed deep down in my brain under loads of music, dates and football games.
As I got older and entered college, I can guarantee that children were the farthest thing from my mind. Sorority events, mixers and what disgustingly gross meal was being served at the dining hall were my main concerns – oh and schoolwork, as well. I still managed to babysit on a more infrequent basis to make some extra money, but, again, my own offspring were still buried under thoughts about which of 10 pairs of black pants I was going to wear that night (sorority uniform, people) and if “that boy” would be around.
A few years passed and I was working with children in a preschool when I met my one and only. Suddenly, all I could think about (besides him) was how sweet it would be to have one of those soft, doughy little creatures to call my own. It was overwhelming, and after our marriage I was almost obsessed with reproducing. I heeded some advice my beloved grandmother had given me. She told me to be married for at least a year before trying to conceive, so that my husband and I could get used to the idea of being married and enjoy just each other before adding little ones into the mix. I can’t begin to tell you how much I agree with this philosophy and, even while I was chomping at the bit to get started, I waited and, of course, it was well worth it.
Of course, you all know the rest; we had little man and now have added our sugar and spice and everything nice. I just adore them both and feel as though I was put on this Earth specifically to be their mother. Playing outside with my little man today, throwing water balloons and chasing each other with the hose, and hearing him say, “Mommy, I love you,” made me so full with love and happiness that I thought I would surely burst with it. Holding that soft little girl and seeing her smile at me when all I say to her is, “Hi,” just melts me. I knew it when I was young, deep down into my bones, and it reappeared again just at the right time. I was born to be a mother and, no matter what else happens on this Earth, those two children will always know that I am theirs completely with everything I have in me.