A Single’s Diary: Introduction

Merriam Webster describes single as not married, relating to celibacy, unaccompanied by others, lone, sole and a single survivor of a disaster.

Disaster, this is what many singles think of when they think of being alone.

When I was a young girl I fantasied about what my boyfriend would be like – in all of the television shows in the 60s and 70s every respectable girl had a fantasy beau. Well, since the days of my youth, when my world was full of fancy, I have been married, divorced, a single mother, menopausal and now a Mimi.

Single has taken on a new meaning; I no longer fantasize, nor is my world full of fancy. I enjoy being alone.  Occasionally, I want someone to send me flowers, take me out to dinner or prepare me dinner, clean the house, do my laundry and tend to my yard. OK, I still fantasize, but my fantasies have changed just a little.

After my divorce, friends and family expected me to marry right away or at least become acquainted with a paramour. Today paramour is just a fancy word for sugar daddy. How on earth during the height of women’s liberation would I be expected to survive without a man taking care of me?

Well, I concede, my divorce was so devastating on me financially that I dated someone my senior by 30 years (my sugar daddy). It was nice during my divorce to know that I had steady cash flow to make up for the attorney fees and therapy. During this short stint as someone’s arm candy, a little voice was saying to me “girl, where is your dignity?” The other voice was saying “you are a single mother you need the money to help you survive.” My sugar daddy broke the sugar daddy code of ethics – he asked me to marry him. Needless to say, dignity won over. I found a full time job, part-time job, completed my undergrad and continued therapy.  

Finally, I moved to Chester. I did not worry about dating because I was concentrating on my child completing school and providing a stable home for the both of us.

Now, I wonder what a single girl has to do to get a date.  I have never been interested in dating someone from church, which just like dating someone at work, is taboo – once the fling is over so is your job. I am not trusting of the club scene; it is too easy to take on another identity. I have had two blind dates; one turned into a good friend. And, I think that I would look desperate if I attended a singles mixer.

I bumped into, so I thought, a great guy. I did something that was out of character and I invited him out twice and he accepted twice. Do I dare ask him again? Shouldn’t he ask me?

What should I do? What do you do?  Share your story at http://www.villagenewsonline.com



Love this piece! Love the honesty. I think as women we don't take the time to discover, to value, to accept, and truly LOVE ourselves first! Sounds like you are in a good place. Why not send yourself flowers, buy yourself something nice, love on you...and ask God to let your path cross the right man for you. Wait expectantly, but happily for the answer!

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