Merriam Webster describes single as not married, relating to celibacy, unaccompanied by others, lone, sole and a single survivor of a disaster.
Disaster, this is what many singles think of when they think of being alone.
When I was a young girl I fantasied about what my boyfriend would be like – in all of the television shows in the 60s and 70s every respectable girl had a fantasy beau. Well, since the days of my youth, when my world was full of fancy, I have been married, divorced, a single mother, menopausal and now a Mimi.
Single has taken on a new meaning; I no longer fantasize, nor is my world full of fancy. I enjoy being alone. Occasionally, I want someone to send me flowers, take me out to dinner or prepare me dinner, clean the house, do my laundry and tend to my yard. OK, I still fantasize, but my fantasies have changed just a little.
After my divorce, friends and family expected me to marry right away or at least become acquainted with a paramour. Today paramour is just a fancy word for sugar daddy. How on earth during the height of women’s liberation would I be expected to survive without a man taking care of me?
Well, I concede, my divorce was so devastating on me financially that I dated someone my senior by 30 years (my sugar daddy). It was nice during my divorce to know that I had steady cash flow to make up for the attorney fees and therapy. During this short stint as someone’s arm candy, a little voice was saying to me “girl, where is your dignity?” The other voice was saying “you are a single mother you need the money to help you survive.” My sugar daddy broke the sugar daddy code of ethics – he asked me to marry him. Needless to say, dignity won over. I found a full time job, part-time job, completed my undergrad and continued therapy.
Finally, I moved to Chester. I did not worry about dating because I was concentrating on my child completing school and providing a stable home for the both of us.
Now, I wonder what a single girl has to do to get a date. I have never been interested in dating someone from church, which just like dating someone at work, is taboo – once the fling is over so is your job. I am not trusting of the club scene; it is too easy to take on another identity. I have had two blind dates; one turned into a good friend. And, I think that I would look desperate if I attended a singles mixer.
I bumped into, so I thought, a great guy. I did something that was out of character and I invited him out twice and he accepted twice. Do I dare ask him again? Shouldn’t he ask me?
What should I do? What do you do? Share your story at http://www.villagenewsonline.com